A CLOSED LOOP
PICTURES IN ROOMS
FIELD WORK
ARRIVE BY MAGIC
2020/11/17
“The feeling of having bitten off more than I could chew. Now the chuck of hard, unrelenting, conceptual food got stuck between my pallet and tongue, stretching my muscles sore. [...]Once I thought there were discrepancies between the speed of thought and writing, now the time ‘real work’ demands is drying up the ideas pond.”
I wrote this one or two weeks into building the pedestal, conceptualizing has been a problem since the beginning. In its infancy, this project's materiality is hinged on the interface of Unity. It was originally the "ivy spectacle", because I was looking at the spectacularization of the higher education arena, mediated through the lens of the numerous study aboard agencies and the often sublimated accounts of success stories. Despite leaving the popular system of evaluation early (or did I), I feel subjugated to its way of categorizing success. However, as the physical object slowly takes form, I find it hard to center, or even to reserve space for the origin, it's sentiments. I could comb it through with writing, but that only provides a plastic clarity. Each time I attempt to explain what it's all about, I feel like I am only returning to a statement that ultimately fails to capture the truth. Now I'm miles away from the WHY.
But that's okay. There's a sense of "realness" in the form itself, which I noticed but had doubts about. Formal problems are about improvising and remixing. In the process of problem solving I'm always leveraging the resources I have, and trying not to disrupt the consistency of the object's visual or internal logic. Surprisingly, I find myself resorting to decisions I’ve made in projects that have long been put away on the back burner--it's always a rejoicing moment when the dots connect.
These aren't arbitrary or unfounded moves for I believe that the conceptual groundwork is not frivolous after all. Once the infrastructure is more or less made and solidified, I think I could then expect some semblance of truth.
I wrote this one or two weeks into building the pedestal, conceptualizing has been a problem since the beginning. In its infancy, this project's materiality is hinged on the interface of Unity. It was originally the "ivy spectacle", because I was looking at the spectacularization of the higher education arena, mediated through the lens of the numerous study aboard agencies and the often sublimated accounts of success stories. Despite leaving the popular system of evaluation early (or did I), I feel subjugated to its way of categorizing success. However, as the physical object slowly takes form, I find it hard to center, or even to reserve space for the origin, it's sentiments. I could comb it through with writing, but that only provides a plastic clarity. Each time I attempt to explain what it's all about, I feel like I am only returning to a statement that ultimately fails to capture the truth. Now I'm miles away from the WHY.
But that's okay. There's a sense of "realness" in the form itself, which I noticed but had doubts about. Formal problems are about improvising and remixing. In the process of problem solving I'm always leveraging the resources I have, and trying not to disrupt the consistency of the object's visual or internal logic. Surprisingly, I find myself resorting to decisions I’ve made in projects that have long been put away on the back burner--it's always a rejoicing moment when the dots connect.
These aren't arbitrary or unfounded moves for I believe that the conceptual groundwork is not frivolous after all. Once the infrastructure is more or less made and solidified, I think I could then expect some semblance of truth.